Surviving GBS syndrome: Chapter 6
THERE IS WAR IN MY BODY: Chapter 6
Que sera sera is Spanish and translated it means what will be, will be. It is used to convey a fatalistic recognition that future events are out of the speaker's control. In life, there are so many things we don't have control over and the biblical destiny is one of them.
GBS syndrome is like HIV, it can't be treated, and it is also like lightning it rarely strikes twice at the same place. There is always a potential for a relapse, The condition can be reversed and it takes a lot of effort, endurance, prayer, faith and a lot of perseverance. Recovery is largely dependent on an individual's attitude, eating appropriate protein diet, belief in God and lots of exercises. Exercises became part of me and I religiously exercised daily. Exercises is never an easy thing that is why so many people don't like it and as a result, most people are obese world over.
As bad as my situation was, I was able to type on my phone though I couldn't write physically with a pen. Typing was also a challenge. My writing was as bad or as good as an elementary school kid. It was painful because I didn't know if I was going to live normally after leaving hospital. When I decided to document my experience I asked my young brother to bring my laptop so that I could write using the laptop. As I have explained in previous chapters that my hands were tingling and I wasn't able to lift a cup. I had to use both hands and still struggled. , As I struggled with the laptop it fell and broke and became unusable, so was the tablet and my phone. I wasn't hurt because I had already accepted my fate, which also contributed to my recovery. It was nerve-racking that I couldn't function normally, my palms and hands didn't have strength at all so most of the times I would try to force holding things in my hands, hence the falling of the laptop and the phones.
Early on in my sickness, I reconditioned myself and my brain. I had the following lessons; Acceptance, Strength of the mind, perseverance, inner strength and inner peace, my abilities and my attitude towards life in general, I also learnt that sickness is an individual burden and that it was my cross to carry, I learnt that where there is a will there is always a way and that love conquers all. I never asked God the question most people ask when they are faced with challenges or problems in their life, 'WHY ME GOD' The reason I didn't ask was that I accepted my fate, or my condition once the neurologists diagnosed me with GBS syndrome. I had all the reasons to ask God, given that it is a rare condition that affects one in a hundred thousand. I took it that I was the chosen one, therefore there wasn't any need to ask. When Jesus died he knew beforehand that his time was going to come and there wasn't anything he was going to do about it. It was his destiny to die for the people. In other words, it was que sera sera. I was in a similar situation no amount of crying was gonna change my situation. I prayed most of the time my challenge was shortness of breath, especially during prayer times just before I slept. That gave me a strong resolve to continue praying.
After leaving the hospital I developed a new mission, gaining muscle and strength, gaining weight and complete recovery. My diet was a mixture of proteins & carbohydrates. It was very important for me to consume a lot of proteins like fish, meat, beans etc. It wasn't a holiday for me but rather all seven days were packed with non-stop exercise regime. I was determined to recover and a quick recovery. I knew what the doctors told me about my recovery time of at least nine months. My muscles had forgotten to do their normal functions for example in the case of legs and hands. My main task was to reconfigure my system. Focusing on the brain to nerve reconfiguration. It wasn't an easy task but I didn't have a choice either otherwise, I was gonna be wheelchair-bound or even worse.
On 8 October 2017, me and my brother went to Fourways mall for grocery shopping. I didn't carry any walking aid, it was like any ordinary normal walking day. We first went through Clicks pharmacy and I spoke to the pharmacist about supplements of which he suggested Omega 3,6 and 9. He told me to go and check at Dis-Chem where I bought flaxseed oil as per his recommendation. We crisscrossed the mall until we finished our business then we left the mall. It was a refreshing experience to just walking around unaided with no problem. This was the moment I had been yearning for since hospitalization. There was a time in my life where I just admired people walking. This had become an achievement for me. People don't realise what they have until they lose it, That day I felt like I had won a million dollars because I had walked around the mall for more than two hours.
I had an appointment with my Occupational therapist at 11 am on 13 October 2017, on the same day I was also collecting my hypertension medication at the hospital pharmacy. So my sister Deidre and her husband took me there. The physiotherapists were amazed by my progress so was my sister. I had last seen her when my mother was still around in Johannesburg. I arrived at the OT Department at exactly 10:45 am, my physiotherapist was busy but told me that I was gonna see a different therapist. She immediately called me in and called in the other therapist who were all in awe, about my progress. It was very impressive, and script-like, according to them. I felt proud of myself and walked an inch taller. She didn't know where to start because they were not expecting me to have made such a great improvement. She then told me that we would rather do some handwriting practice, since it was still a bit off, and then did some hands exercises. I then left the OT Department and then headed to the hospital pharmacy. There was a very long queue as always, I joined the snake-like queue until I was served three hours later. We left the hospital and my sister and hubby dropped me off at home.
The same day of the hospital appointment 13 October 2017 I started jogging. It was awkward at first and very difficult. I wasn't In a hurry to be perfect but it was those small milestones that I was after. As much as my progress was fast, I wasn't oblivious to the fact that time was gonna be my healer. So I jogged every day after exercises and in the evening. I followed my exercise regime religiously because I knew that was where my salvation was. One of my old friends called me on the 13th October 2017 the day I had my first physiotherapy appointment, I had last spoken to him sometime around 2010. When he saw my Facebook update, he became concerned and he then looked for me. He was meant to see me the same day but couldn't manage to come because he finished work late that same day. He later called to tell me that he would come the next day. As arranged he came and we chatted the greater part of the day. He invited me to a breakfast meeting at his church on the 21st of October 2018. The session was inspiring, speaker after speaker was motivational, it came at the right time. The meeting lasted until 1 pm. He took me back home after a productive session at church.
25 October 2017 was my second physiotherapy appointment, by this time I felt no need to attend. I was doing my daily exercises and I was about between 95-98% back to my normal self. When I finished bathing on the dame day, I watched on TV a real-life story of a group of four high school delinquent and disadvantaged kids who won a robotics project ahead of MIT college It was a gruelling, sad and encouraging story of success against all odds. I left the house around past 10 am and headed to the taxi, I was now somewhat able-bodied. I arrived at 1 pm I was already at the physiotherapy department, we did all the exercises I did at home. The therapists felt that they couldn't teach me any new thing. I was on point with my exercise regime. I was then discharged from physiotherapy and it meant I could now return to work.
After I read and understood GBS syndrome, I accepted that if I were to recover it was gonna be a partial or full recovery. That was what the neurological institute explained on its website. I had desired to live another day, the belief in God and healing and the willingness to walk again. Even as I recovered there were no guarantees of anything, that is why my physiotherapists were in awe with my progress.
The day before November 1, I spend the greater part of the day, preparing for the next day. I went back to work on the 1st of November 2017, it reminded me of the first day of school at a boarding school. I woke up my usual 5 am and by 6:15 am I left the house. I didn't know what to feel and expect since I had spent two months away from work. The second month was for rest and recovery. I arrived at work around 7:30 am due to congestion and on an ordinary day that same journey would have taken me at most thirty minutes. All the people were so happy to see me back, whether it was genuine or not was none of my business. There was one guy who held my reigns when I was on my sickness journey, had a feigned vibe. I am pretty much sure that my return was unpalatable for him. It was like being forced to drink poison. In every bad situation, someone will rejoice for someone's misfortune. It is the rule of the jungle, the lion will never feel pity for an Impala but will pounce on first instinct. Bad things happen to good people and that is the way it is. After meeting and greeting, I then proceeded to the GM's office. The owner of the company had assured me in our last meeting that my position was safe. All I needed was to chill and recover then come back whenever I was ready BUT I was gonna be on unpaid leave. The other condition was that I would bring a doctor's note certifying that I was fit and able to resume work. Upon assessment on my last visit to OT Department my occupational therapist wrote the letter and I immediately emailed it to my boss. My boss was happy to see me and I then gave him the original letter of which he acknowledged receipt of the copy I emailed, he proceeded to show me the new offices. At that time I was not sure if my boss had spoken to the gentleman who stood in for me. Four people worked in that office, three ladies and me or the other guy. I wasn't sure what to do, what mattered most to me as I was now back at work and I was now able...
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